PLEASE SUPPORT MY WORK by listening to this YouTube Video that I presented at Hazelden to Share my Recovery & MADD Story

This Blog Post is short and sweet. Following is a YouTube link to my recovery story that I presented at Hazelden (a treatment center for drug and alcohol addiction). 

Would you listen to it and then comment on it?  Here is the link:

Here's a link to the recovery story that I presented at Hazelden (a treatment center for drug and alcohol addiction).  Would you listen to it and then comment on it?  https://youtu.be/kiNuS4BTIvQ

Any help in making the story useful is appreciated.  If you know me personally, you probably know that I had cancer when I gave this speech. I lost a lot of weight, and my eyes were sunken, but God has my life.

I had the video categorized as PRIVATE on YouTube, so I only shared it with a few people through the years. But I made it PUBLIC so you could listen, comment, and share it with like-minded people.

I Love You ~ Pass It On. Now, here is a word from my comedic sponsor.

If you would like to make a free-will offering to support my work, please do so by using the URL. Passing the Hat so I can speak for you or your organization will help, too. Thank you.


https://www.cameron-communicationz.org/checkout/donate?donatePageId=62c362941cf1dd788941a6e3

Free Will Offering

Irony & Dying to Self

I've read it said that a true friend will lay down their life for another.

Staying alive…'living' for another is harder, though, sometimes. Suicide might actually be the easy way out. Surviving pain requires courage. When we do it, we can help ‘others’ hear that there’s a way out.

Ironically, it's often enough the friends themselves that kill us. I've heard it said, and it's probably written somewhere to 'not kill the Messenger.' It seems like much of the world is looking for someone to whom they can feel or think they are superior to. That's the problem with 'self'-esteem. Dying to 'self' is more painful than dying for others.

If we are One, the 'other' eventually disappears. That's what forgiveness does. Every tradition teaches it in one form or another.

Standing in a sacred room with a Bible and standing in a garage with a car have something in common. Irony is a great comedian. Looking back, we eventually laugh at our toughest hours with gratitude and realaize we prevailed through Grace.

My Voice

My Voice.

My voice is not the Door, not a hand on the Door, not a hinge on the door. My voice is the Squeak on the hinge on the door, which draws people's attention to it.

Don't shoot the messenger or oil the hinges of my imperfections.

If you don't like something I say, take it up with God. God's the reason I'm still alive. If you like something I say, don't give me credit; instead, clap your hands together to celebrate God. If you clap after my speech, remember to whom you are offering your applause.

If the message I bring points to me, I have done you a great disservice. If you remember me from my message, both you and I have done a disservice to the Message.

So, yesterday, I spoke to a wonderful group of people about sober driving and added a few names to my Newsletter List. It lifts me to know I helped lift others. It’s why I’m still alive? Maybe. Only God knows for sure, but I feel the miracles in my life are still happening to change my view of myself. I am standing between two mirrors, one being my past and the other my future. God is in the Eternal Now, and if I look through the Glasses of God, my NOW changes, and with it, so does my past and future. Jesus didn’t say He was the Beginning and the End; He said He is or I AM the Beginning and the End.

Food for Thought. Don’t view your errors as errors but rather as squeaks toward the door of a new life. Sometimes, we call one of our cats Squeaky because he doesn’t meow but squeak.

We are always exactly where we can see the door through the window of our eyes. If our eyes look at the light, our consciousness will be filled with light. It’s hard to see shadows when we’re facing the light. Our lives have seasons of darkness, but to God, even darkness is as light. A Ray of Darkness, perhaps. That’s where trust in God comes in. Trust is a Ray of Darkness. Trust beautifies and brings meaning to our grief.

When I first started talking on MADD Victim Impact Panels, I would drive home afterward, and seriously, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life to NOT run my car into a bridge or tree at 100 MPH and kill myself. Not committing suicide is maybe one of my superpowers. LOL!

But I couldn’t take my own life. I had turned my will and life over to God, so my life wasn’t ‘my life’ anymore, and I couldn’t steal it from God. The following sentence might be convoluted, but bear with me. I also realized that IF I’m dead because I gave up, THEN when someone who might be ready to give up needed my help to hear why they shouldn’t give up by someone who knew what it was like that they’re going through that made it through the trials by fire, then I couldn’t help them…because I’m dead. It’s way harder to stay alive than kill oneself, but it’s worth it.

Don’t quit before the Miracle happens.

Fulcrum of Lovely Mediocrity

Fulcrum of Lovely Mediocrity

It feels like forNever,
that lovely slip where only humans discuss nonexistence to sacrifice yesterday for reversion revisioning.
80 years from now they laugh at our today.

lovely ways of painting forevermore,
in an uncircumference effort to improve on forever,
not unlike 'unconditional' love improving on love.
Don't try to understand.

Trying isn't unavoidably necessary.
Seasons come from where they go.
Diverting from mistakes isn't alerTable staging,
but failure is.

Mirrors are but fulcrums of true beauty.
Common-crowded minds on the edge of their hearts
weigh in with a load of shhhhh…
logical suppositions.

Come back away
to creaTe new words,
cuz ‘a ton of head ain’t worth an ounce of
heart.’

Living one's life in another person's shadow is an echo
of dismality,
but every movie, even the bad ones,
possesses at least one great line worth hearing.

I have never written for popularity's sake, but I do hope someone enjoys a line here and there. I create opportunities for happiness, introspection, and, occasionally, more. Being alert-able is being a Noticer. © Timothy G Cameron

Switching Gears to Help Myself

I'm progressing to posting all my ideas here rather than posting them to facebook. I'll occasionally post here, but facebook won't get to decide what people can see and who gets access to it.

Only one person donated for my birthday because people didn't go to my wall to say happy birthday; instead, they used only the facebook birthday reminder link to say happy birthday. I'm glad for the well wishes, yet it's clear I need to work differently to be independent (and uncensored).

I will, however, put my Blog comments and ideas on Social Media via my website link to the Blog or speaking events.


Here’s a poem I wrote (you’ll be redirected to where I write poetry): https://allpoetry.com/poem/17611610-Having-an-Affair-by-Timothy-Cameron

Chart Your Course; MEAN TO DO IT!

God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. After we turn our will and lives over to God's care, our sole objective is to let go and let God. After some years of speaking in MADD, I looked back on the fact that I didn't mean to do what I did. However, I also didn't mean not to do it. Yes, I know that’s a double negative, but you know what I mean. I ran away from treatment for drug and alcohol abuse when I was 19 years old, and had I been successful in that treatment center, Little Timmy would probably be alive today. I also would not have gone to prison for manslaughter. Ironically, Alcoholics are usually the last ones to know they're Alcoholics.

So when I'm giving presentations for MADD, Minnesotans for Safe Driving, or Phoenix 490, I remember to tell people that they have a choice not to do what I have done. They can't hit a target they don't have (consciously, at least), but they become excuse-free after hearing the warning message that I present to them. They cannot tell a judge in the future that they didn't know what they did could result in the death or injury of another human being or that an incident of driving under the influence of alcohol might have serious consequences at the very least. If they take to heart the message that I present, then they can set plans in place to protect the things that they love.

Sometimes, dealing with alcoholism/alcoholics is the acknowledgment that the attention they give to alcohol in their lives might be a problem. If you want to know what people love in life, look at where they spend their time. Show me your friends, and I will show you your future. For an alcoholic, alcohol is NOT their friend, and often the people they hang out with are ‘fair-weather-friends’ who bail on them when stuff hits the fan. But with alcoholics, that’s a truth that's hard to see until they hit rock bottom; they didn't have a drinking problem; they had a thinking problem, and drinking was 'but a symptom' of that problem. If they don't do something about alcoholism, though, they can't correct the thinking problem. Removing alcohol from an alcoholic's life long enough to give space in time to see…allowing time enough to experience a truly sober thought for the first time in maybe years in some people's lives, is extremely important. The Prison of Denial is a most secure imprisonment, indeed. Alcoholics can have many spiritual experiences, but without spiritual awareness, the experiences often go unnoticed. It’s a miracle that many people never drove drunk and killed themselves or someone else. It’s a miracle they didn’t land in prison, get divorced, go to an insane asylum, or die. Alcoholics walk on water for years and complain every day how life ain’t fair. I say THANK GOD LIFE AIN’T FAIR. Yes, I think we should treat each other fairly and be merciful and forgiving of others and ourselves, but I chose to see my past as a miracle instead of as ONLY a tragedy. In God’s Economy, nothing is wasted.

While a person is in active alcoholism, the best-laid plans get laid waste. We've all heard that 'we don't plan to fail, that we fail to plan.’ Most people who are stuck in alcoholism or addiction can't see to the prison of their thinking until they hit rock bottom. One of the hardest things in the world to do as a person who loves an alcoholic is to step back and let the consequences take their course. If we throw pillows beneath them to soften their fall, we might kill them. Before hitting Little Timmy, I said a prayer, asking God not to let me hit the two women who were crossing the street in front of the vehicle. But my prayer came too late. I had charted my course wittingly or unwittingly, and the dye was cast, evidently.

I like to think that maybe Little Timmy and I had a Sacred Contract, as in he would give his life, and I would spend the rest of mine doing something about it. My work may help save a couple of lives, and if the feedback I've received through the years is accurate, it is absolutely true that more people have been saved than I've hurt. God only knows the real truth behind all this.

If you want to support Phoenix 490 so we can help save lives through Impact Panels, please donate.

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By allowing love and light of the Divine to shine through us, by letting go and letting God, those dark parts of our past we viewed as ugly or evil, are transformed into usefulness to others.

"Walking On Water": A. Metaphor, B. Reality, C. Christian Context or ABC? WALKING THROUGH MYTHS TO MIRACLES

It’s been quite a while since I posted anything for my Newsletter List. I hope your holidays went well. Thanks to all that have joined my List. I love you. Pass It On!

When I initially set up my website, I decided to put "Walking on Water" on the Landing Page. When a Christian friend of mine saw it, "Walking on Water" was challenged as sounding arrogant.

My Old Landing Page.

Indeed, when I contemplated what the Landing Page would look like, the possibility of it being perceived as arrogant crossed my mind. I decided to put it up anyway. My answer to the challenge was easy to answer because I had already given it much contemplation. Most people in recovery survived impossible odds and are Walking Miracles. They had no idea that they had been walking on water for years. They should have been dead, been put in an insane asylum, or at least been locked away in prison.

Personally, I already saw my life as a series of miracles. I believe I was also walking on water long before I realized it. The night I sobered up, I looked back on the preceding hours and saw it as a miracle that I didn’t get tossed back into prison. No matter how much I tried to sell my freedom for a drink, I didn’t get arrested, beat up, or end up in a hospital for alcohol poisoning. It seemed I was saved from myself and was protected from the normal consequences of my insane behavior. I literally remembered how Jesus walked through the crowds of people who wanted to kill him, but he was invisible. I felt like I walked through a minefield unscathed.

I survived some rough patches in life, including a couple of manmade prisons (an ugly childhood of abuse). I even survived the prison of my own thinking, and that’s a real miracle! Seriously, I should have been dead a long time ago, many times over. It’s like a cat having ‘Nine Lives’, I guess.

Brace yourself for a Reality Check that is probably out of most people’s comfort zone, but I could have been raped in prison, killed someone in self-defense, and spent the rest of my life locked down for a myriad of reasons. People often wanted to kill me in prison, including a few ‘cliques’ of prisoners, but God protected me.

I was walking on water. God had a plan for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 was something my Spiritual Advisor (AKA Sponsor) in the 12-step Program reminded me of many times when I struggled with emotions and difficult circumstances.

I had a sense of humor in prison. It’s a useful tool in recovery to have; I don’t know how any of us would make it through life without it. It was one of the few things that couldn’t be taken from me in life, even in prison. Someone jokingly said that I was too dumb to be unhappy (I added “for long” to the end of that sentence. ‘Never Take Yourself Too Seriously’ is a Sobriety/Recovery Maxim that helped me a lot. This Too Shall Pass was a lifesaver for me, too.

So, in the Christian Tradition, we have all heard about Jesus ‘walking on water.’ Christ’s Apostle Peter also walked on water until he became fearful. Pertaining to God, Scripture reads that ‘fear is not of me.’ Being human has its seeming drawbacks, and experiencing fear is one of them.

MLK said to keep our eye on the prize. If we keep our gaze single to the Glory of God, we stand in whole or Holy Light. If we see shadows, our backs are getting tanned; we are casting our own shadows. TURN AROUND. When we don’t feel close to God, WHO MOVED? We might think God isn't there when we have taken our eyes off the prize. We turned our sensitivity off, or at least turned it down. Sometimes, God speaks in a still, small voice, and we must be ‘sensitive human seismographs’ to discern quiet truths.

LET GO, LET GOD is a Recovery Slogan that has served me well when I used it. And the magnificent 25 WRODS in the Serenity Prayer is a definite Gift from God. When we take our eyes off the prize, that's the real problem. And I know not everyone reads the Bible, but I remembered reading that greater miracles would ye do than what I have done. It takes ego to notice ego. For me, EGO Is Edging God Out. But maybe it could also mean Egging God On. I also heard that ‘Impossible is God's favorite word.’


IF YOU WANT TO HEAR ME TALK TONIGHT IN ROSEMOUNT, MINNESOTA AT THE ALANO CLUB, HERE’S A CHANCE TO DO SO. FOLLOWS IS MY SPEECH PLAN.

This might drive people away rather than attract them, but after prayer, I decided that tonight, I'm talking about a Night Vision I had about the 12 Steps when I was 19 years old before I knew anything about The Program. In that Night Vision, I saw colors raining down from the sky that looked like water that was little droplets of fire in every color imaginable.

1/20/2024 speech at the Rosemount Alano Club, 8:00 PM. ADDRESS: 14680 South Robert Trail · Rosemount, MN 55068

After I was sober for maybe 8 or 10 years, my Sponsor and I meet with someone that hurt me as a child. Before actually meeting with him, I was filled with dread and was praying up a storm. When the guy showed up, I saw those same colors raining down from heaven and they went straight into my heart, filling me with love. God did for me what I couldn't do for myself.

Lastly, if there's time, I might talk about a prayer session I had with a friend who had many health problem. As I prayed for her healing, those same colors rained down again and flowed through my right hand into her, and I heard the words, "My love rain down upon thee."

It's going to be nippy tonight, like -6. Chase recovery as hard as you chased the bar hours or drug dealer.

There is One that has all power. That One is God. May you find God now.

Longest Distance is from Mind to the Heart Paradigms

Escaping unilateral propensity happens when we surrender our hearts and minds to God's Loving Wisdom. That is to say, when we 'Let Go and Let God,' the 'longest distance' (the distance between head and heart) UNIFIES/merges into miraculous Acceptance of experiencing everything and everyone through God's Vision. Escaping TOWARD acceptance is insightful; it is seeking Conscious Contact with God, seeking only God's will for us, and releasing the ego's control mechanisms of escaping away from a thing. People run backward over cliffs when their ego is running the show. I believe in the Education of the Heart. It’s INSIDE-OUT.

Finger On The Trigger

A cop someone once worked with told her that his life had become so painful that he took out his service revolver, placed the barrel in his mouth, cocked the hammer, and placed his finger on the trigger. At the moment of truth, staring death directly in the face, an image appeared to him of his children. At that moment, he chose life. He chose life when the love of his children replaced his desire to die. And for the first time in many years, he began to cry. The sadness of suicidality killed off what wasn’t needed in his life. Perhaps he ‘died to self.’

I read and listened to many books when going through the Dark Night of the Soul. In one, Pema Chodron said, “Bodhicitta is our heart–our wounded heart. Right down there in the thick of things, we discover the love that will not die. This love is bodhicitta. It is gentle and warm; it is clear and sharp; it is open and spacious. The awakened heart of bodhicitta is the basic goodness of all beings.”

Zen made a lasting impact on my connection to Jesus, the Beginning AND the End. A Zen Master’s oldest disciple had died, the one who had been with him the longest and whom he had designated as his successor. At the funeral, while giving the eulogy, the Master broke down and cried. Later, a visiting monk said: “Life and death have no beginning and no end. Why do you cry?” The Master said: “He was my oldest disciple; if I don’t cry now, when am I supposed to?”

When struggling with meaning, I wrote poetry and journaled to contemplate coming or going.

Deep within all of us is this love that will not die, for it is Grief as Praise. Martín Prechtel said that sweet spot produces the gift of tears, Holy Water if you will, the tears that cleanse our soul.

What is Truth?

The phrase, "It is none of my business what others think of me," is geared to free people from the self-imposed prison of perception of 'Otherism' or codependency.

 While it's true that 'what others think of me is none of my business,' it is also true that what I think of myself is none of my business.

 "My" ONLY business is what God thinks of me; not even what I think of God is the point. My relationship with God is personal (God knows my name), but God's relationship with me is Eternal. God is the beginning and the end (may the Circle be unbroken).

 

I prefer to hear a person who says, 'my truth' means that they are not 'playing God' with their perception of the truth. It's akin to having confidence without conceit. In other words, no human is the ultimate authority on the facts. We grow along spiritual lines and are imperfect; we fall short of what we want to be and do. The Full Serenity Prayer illustrates this idea of *trust over human comprehension:

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. *Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to His Will so I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever and ever in the next. Amen. (prayer attributed to Reinhold Neibuhr, 1892-1971).

 

I agree that there is not my or your or anyone else's truth. Truth ain't a democracy; it also isn't a theocracy (personal freedom to worship or not keeps us all free), but Jesus said 'the TRUTH' will set [us] free [from ourselves]. No truth rises above the audience's mind short of a miracle. The Day of Pentecost is an excellent example of divine proof. No one who experienced the Holy Spirit's power that day found themselves limited by the constraints of their linguistic heritage, societal prejudices, and incorrect teachings.

 

Ask a stupid question and get a stupid answer. When Pontius Pilot asked Christ, "What is truth?" what was Jesus's response?

 

Truth without compassion is cruelty. “…but speaking the truth in love…”is imperative. Beating people up with the 'truth' is reprehensible. Measuring out the truth (as wisely as a serpent) is a maturity that doesn't require diluting truth. Thou shalt not lie doesn't mean we puke out the truth on people. Agreeing with the adversary while we are in the way is not lying, is it? Are we telling the truth when we cast pearls before swine? Yes, the truth is the truth, but who among us pushes people away from Christ under the disguise of 'well, it's the truth! You can't handle the truth!"

 

We don't hide the truth under a bushel, but we can shine so that those with eyes to see and ears to hear will discern the truth. Before speaking, pray. I can say everything wrong; my arguments might be insufficient to win a debate, but because I pray, God will help someone hear it right. It's not all about me.

 

Milk before meat.

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…the man said with unwavering conviction that I should have been put in the electric chair for what I did. God had healed me from having really difficult reactions to such comments, so I was OK. I already had many staredowns with the abyss, so I also had confidence (without conceit) that my actions and punishments were no longer in human hands.

The Self-Made Man's Poetic Joke

annoyability and enjoyability
rhyme
,
but anger, like a misplaced comma,
makes an attack seem rational

cognizance knows not where to turn to find flight from its conceptions;
Why let fortifications be your enslaver (to build parenthetical prisons of perception) to keep 'them' out and thereby trap ourselves?
why sabotage harmony with Cynicism?
why are victims to be attacked by fantasies, dreams, and illusions self-made
objectivity?

"Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you persist?

© Now, Timothy G Cameron   


Speech Notes for 9/30/2023

That which is near to us has more power over us than that which is far from us. Show me your friends or your addictions, and I will show you your future.

If you cannot reach it, you can't use it. If you cannot reach or see your car keys, then you can't 'access' keys to start the car.

Accessibility: if we can't access a __________ (fill in the blank...sugar, substance, sex, pornography, gambling, compulsivity, spending, etc.), we create a chance to replace it with a new habit or system.

Consciously create distance from the thing you do not want in your life. When we let go and allow God to be bigger than our problems, our problems get smaller. The smaller we get, the bigger God can get in our lives.

Step 1 is the death of an old selfish way of living and the birth of a profound alteration in our reaction to life, otherwise known as selflessness.

Honesty is a tipping point in every positive paradigm.

Read from How It Works in the Big Book about the capacity to prevail contingent upon the maintenance of a spiritual condition known as honesty.

The truth to set you free asks for your consent or willingness to live in the question. Teachable Moments are born from a willingness to learn or explore outside of everything we think we know.

A word to my Friends of Lois W.: Don’t outsource your peace (that surpasses all human understanding).