The things that BEST helped my personal life of alcoholic recovery (and speeches about DWI’s wherein the central focus is in encouraging sober driving, forgiveness, and love) were the Gifts of Criticism for which I will be ever grateful. I gave audiences comment sheets and read every single one personally, appreciating those that praised us as speakers. Still, mostly I was like the proverbial 'duck on a June Bug' on the critical reviews. Most of the so-called negative comments were constructive criticisms at worst, but the scathing or mean ones helped me the most. Not in vain, I read those sheets after every speech for at least ten years. I had at least (probably) a hundred pounds of comment sheets, but eventually, I put most of them in a dumpster as I had no more room for storage.
There's no universal utility in others holding us accountable. We have to hold ourselves accountable. Others should just be honest about how our behaviors affect them. My Sponsor said over and over again in my difficult marriage, "You're not her problem. She's addicted to misery." My Sponsor ALSO said when I complained about her, "I don't wanna hear any of that 'he said/she said shit!” Sorry for the s-word, but that's what she said. LOL!
AFG helped me stay on my side of the street. Accepting Sponsorship in my life helped save my life. So many cool memories to look back on today, but some of them didn’t feel so cool when it was going down. After an AFG meeting in Maplewood, I recall complaining to a friend about my Ex. I went Al-A on and on and on for maybe 15 minutes. After I emptied my hot air balloon, she said, "OK, so what's YOUR part in it?" I literally laughed out loud in irony and said something along the lines of a sheepish, 'Ah, shucks!'. I got busted out, but I (me) had to see it, and that became possible through her question and not a sledgehammer of ‘truth’. Yes, the truth shall set us free, yet truth without compassion is cruelty.