I was trying to recall what year Litlle Timmy's mom and I started talking. I'm estimating 2011, judging from this memory. Mary Jo Robinson got me started in MADD by sharing how she forgave the man who killed Mark (her son). She told the man, "I love you and forgive you for killing Mark." I never thought I would hear such words from a mother, but it led to my first speech for MADD in January of 91.
I tried for years to make what amends I could to Sherri, Little Timmy's mom but never heard back from her...until one fine day MADD called me and said that 'the mother' wanted to talk to me. I thought, "What kind of a statement is that? I'm in MADD and know MANY mothers. They had to tell me three times before I got it.
Eventually, Timmy's mom said she loves me and forgives me for killing Little Timmy, and was grateful to know I'm keeping his memory alive for a good reason. Hearing a mom say "I love you and forgive you for killing my son' twice reminds me of getting hit by lightning, like, 'what's the odds of that?'
Both Mary Jo and Sherri are Catholic, which led me to say in speeches that no one does forgiveness like a Catholic (but some Buddhists come close). BTW, I'm not Catholic, so I'm not trying to herd people to religion. It's a credit where credit's due.
Almost every lesson from my life is borrowed wisdom. The wisdom borrowed from Mary Jo and Sherri was hard-earned in their lives, but they LIVED their faith rather than just give forgiveness lip-service.
Forgiveness, like grief, runs deeper than the offense that required its presence. Without an offense, the world would not know forgiveness. In today's world, who among us is NOT called to forgiveness? How many of us can say YES to forgiveness? Forgiveness is a form of love. “Love your enemies.’
I was my own enemy for years, but in time and after a whole lot of work (Led Zeppelin, a whole lotta love?), I forgave myself and learned the deeper value of what it means to 'forgive your enemies.'