On Sunday, 5:55 P.M., 8/19/90, I stood poised and ready to recoil from a decision I made to hit a meeting for the first time as a Surrendered Alcoholic; I nervously stood at the bottom stair of ‘The Club’, fearfully contemplating, teetering really on the balance of that decision. About 14 and 1/2 hours earlier, something big happened in my life. I actually got honest with myself about being powerless over alcohol. Prior to that, I was basically playing God, and God ain’t powerless over anything other than our freedom.
After 1) admitting I was an Alcoholic, and 2) believing God could and would restore me to my original self (restore me to sanity), and 3) surrendering my will and my life to the care of God and recovery at 3:30 A.M., I was still amidst of my alcoholic puke-fest (a promo for the Exorcist movie in my apartment), I told myself I would find and go to a meeting and work on my new sober life. I meant it.
Art by Recovery Jones
But there I was, at risk of backpedaling out of my first 12-Step meeting and commitment. On the plains of this hesitation, had it not been for the serious round of laughter I heard flooding from the windows of the Alano Club in Stillwater, I would have been too ashamed to start my journey in the Fellowship of Recovery. I can hardly express the importance and gratitude that laughter has had in my life. For me, it was like God set the stage for me to actually face my fears. The laughter attracted me. A sense of humor was the liberty bell of my newfound promise of freedom.
Humor is serious business. Comedy Detention
I guess it’s time for truth in humor. A wry sense of humor, perhaps. In “Jeff” the Missouri Un-Penitent-iary, I remember when a fellow I knew and liked, even respected for his level-headed wisdom, was paroled. I was happy for him. Prior to prison, he had a career in Minor League baseball and expressed high hopes to pursue his future in baseball with a fresh start on life. A couple of months later, sadly, he was back in prison. He sheepishly admitted he screwed up and broke the law again (doing what, he didn’t say; one of the rules I lived by in prison was to NOT ask questions about such things). Another friend taught me to follow the “I don’t know anything and I don’t want to know anything” principle. By so following, no one can label you a rat (snitch) if you don’t know anything. MYOB. Mind Your Own Business. Great survival tool. ‘Snitches get stiches’ and often end up dead (or worse).
Anyway, my baseball friend said, “Laugh to keep from crying” and he meant it. Laughter is one of the only things “The Man can’t take from you. No matter how bad it gets, being willing to laugh is a lifesaver. In prison as well as out here, follow the Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously rule. In recovery circles, we call it Rule 62. The backstory of Rule 62 is as follows:
Don’t Take Yourself Too Damn Seriously.
Humor in AA. The following story is described in the Alcoholics Anonymous book, titled, The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (AKA, ‘the 12 & 12’). The backstory is that early in the history of AA, a group out in the environs (somewhere in the alcoholic Land of Oz), convinced their local town folks to finance a recovery/treatment/’AA’ facility. They desired to create an elaborate facility with space for medical treatment, residential recovery, and AA meetings. The local group responsible for setting all this up embarked on formatting rules as to how the place would be administered, who could be admitted, etc. And naturally, there was much disagreement over all this.
In a laborious effort to resolve their differences of opinion, they sent a copy of their 61 rules to the Central NY office of AA. The volunteers in NY had no idea how to run a large facility or what to say to this group about their rules. While they were discussing it, another message from the group was delivered saying simply: Rule 62, don’t take yourself so damn seriously. They had decided that the potential ego-driven rewards of running a big facility were not worth the risk of tearing their group apart.
This incident is used to illustrate the development of AA’s fourth tradition: ‘Each group should be autonomous…’
So now when someone in AA says, ‘Rule 62’ and wry smile is usually accompanying the intonation and people sometimes chuckle a wise ‘yeah, ain’t it the truth’and relax over whatever was the problem.
Good advice.
There are times to be serious, of course…just not TOO serious.
Here’s one really good reason I love the Fellowship of Recovery. “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” No one wanted anything from me other than for me to be happy, joyous, and free through recovery. And they could laugh at about anything. Here’s a few examples that ‘normal’ people might find odd:
