Many years ago, I was interviewed by Minneapolis police on their radio show. I wish they still had that show. I remember feeling grateful that this contact with police differed from The Bad Ol’ Daze. But I want to offer a heartfelt word for cops.
Police themselves need MI help and should have On Call help. Being a cop is almost as stressful as being a cashier. Dealing with the crazy side of humanity is what many fields contend with, and the incidence of mental illness in such fields is relatively unmeasured, probably due to fear of stigma. If a cop or anyone admits having MI issues, they risk losing their job (or fear losing their job). Realizing one is human while under extreme, long-term stress should not be stigmatized. Cops should have 24/7 access to psychological help without anyone knowing the details of their issues (except for perhaps supervisors with an ROI).
It seems like people that need help the most get it the least. Every American should take de-escalation training, irrespective of their area of expertise. Even experts can struggle. A peaceful, easy feeling is a choice that many people have no idea how to access. I frequently witness people making excuses for the poor treatment of their fellow, i.e., marginalizing offenders, cops, homeless, alcoholics/addicts, etc.
I've met MANY people in my 31-years of sobriety that are sober. Judges included. The judges are working intelligently to give offenders REAL help with issues like drug courts and creative sentencing. I've spoken to many LEAs and see the utter look of disdain on some of the audience member's faces. Conversely, I've also seen the look of relief and gratitude on some of the faces. The point of my saying this last piece of information isn't about who did or didn't like what I said. It's about my discovery that the one/s I THOUGHT were mad at me… wasn't. Seriously considering points of new information that impact their future course of behavior is challenging for anyone.
Apprehending a mistaken course of conduct is tough. Sure, perhaps a conscience was punk-slapping the inner critic. I thought these very same people couldn't wait for this piece of their training to end but would sincerely thank me after the speech. I was at first surprised. Now I know people are not what they appear. Give them a break. I suspect they were glad to learn that some offenders do change. I was living proof.
Put compassion first; lead with trust that 'change is possible' and that people are doing the best they can with the tools they have. Don't be part of the Hate Boat. Let's give each other the tools we need. Sure, we're not all in the same boat, but we're on the same ship.
An addendum thought. It seems like many people forget who they are (forget their humanity). I remember how many police officers would scowl (after hearing someone complain about how their handling of a situation was hurtful), saying they are not social workers. Such responses are what untreated MI issues sound like. We are all prone to Compassion Fatigue. Especially cops.
Make your wounds your wisdom. There's still time.
“When we are anxiously attached, our inability to trust the intentions and behaviors of others will often lead us to escalate situations and then reject attempts to reassure us. It is a painful and dramatic spiral.” ― Mary Crocker Cook, Awakening Hope. A Developmental, Behavioral, Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment.