Yesterday, I heard a man tell a story about his mother who was on morphine and in great physical pain with not much time left on Earth School. She couldn't take more morphine for a couple more hours. He loved her so much and anguished terribly that she was in such pain, so he started praying out loud to God that her pain would be immediately removed.
Her answer to her son's prayer was instant and without contemplation, for she had learned in her long years to turn her will and her life over to the care of God (as she understood God). She said, "It is not up to you or anyone else, whether this pain will go away or not. It is up to God"
This story, because I'm in the 12-Step Program, reminds me of Step 6, which is incidentally my favorite Step. Anyway, if I have asked God to remove my pain, or my defects of character, or anything else for that matter in my emotional or mental life, and the things I asked removal of still remain...I remember that they belong to my HP and not me. If they are not taken away, that's God's business, not mine, and I practice acceptance around it. Maybe the defects remain for a reason I can never fathom. Maybe they remain as the only way to create humility in my dumbass. That or, maybe a future lesson is waiting in perfect timing to help someone else at the hour when it is removed. Remember this part of that certain prayer? 'Take away my defects of character'...because it might help someone else ('those I might help')?
…I had a thinking problem, and drinking was just a symptom.
For me, Step 3 is about total trust. 4& 5 is about identifying what parts of myself are blocking me from embracing full Love & Acceptance, 'life on life's terms' sort of a thing. I lance the boil in my heart & mind with the help of my HP, and Sponsor in Step 5, then leave the disinfecting process and timing up to God in 6.