Been thinking about You and praying today, more than usual. Feeling a little sorry for myself, despite all of the tools I've learned through the years and continuing to second-guess everything, so, as much as I’ve complained about it, here’s to a big ‘me too’ on the Thinker's Anonymous Club.
The things that matter most in life seem to go unarticulated (in life, whatever that is) by most of us. Exposing our deepest selves (Self) takes courage and by so doing, most people recoil in fear of judgment, maybe a little like Kierkegaard with Fear & Loathing, I don't know. There's so much my heart wants to say in life, but how to express it without pushing people away. During my Dark Night, everything in and of this world was burned away, and it hurt. For years, the illusion grew around my spiritual nerves and the fire burned off everything that was not real; the pain was real because the nerves are real. But since the illusion disappeared, the language to describe it disappeared, too.
Only Love keeps the Veil thin and the more Love, the thinner the Veil. Purity of heart is to will One thing, said Soren. We are what we absorb or digest, maybe, but I 'think' I digest imagination and my heart feels on fire with gratitude. Back to the 'what is a feeling' page of life. LOL!
Love and a reckoning of time are laughable. In prison, it was a 'laugh to keep from crying' proverb, but I suppose for us Love is the only Eternal. Love is never wrong, but what we do for Love, that's another story. "All is laughter, all is dust, for the source of all things lies in the..." knowingly indescribable, and the god of the greatest hoax grows most profound when every insignificance and every thought that answers our heart with judgment.
The movie, Deadpool, is anesthetic to some people, but as with most people, there are sensitive, living nuggets of the finest gold sparking as one masterpiece, but there they hang on walls waiting for people to feel every brushstroke for hundreds or thousands of years, and the problem of time again feels sorry for itself, as I do my failing people who struggle and my heart fearing consequences like crying forever all in a moment. But there's no better way to live, so maybe my maybe is good enough. When the crystals in both ears ring, that's a yes answer. You, in the words of Darryl, ‘For until You love the whole of You, your pain and fear and rage, You’ll just be seeking others, to put inside your cage.’ And of course Sartre, “Hell is other people.” There is no other, except the love one anOTHER.