Prison & Loving Deeper than Pain

People have no idea how bad it really is in some places. You know they say one can 'unsee' a thing? Yeah, that, no matter how much one evolves in the right direction, memories still come up without warning. Most people hear a certain common, everyday phrase and think nothing of it, while others remember something that is REALLY normal. Keeping one's heart soft is a daily task requiring much focus. See the cell above? Try to see it without feces and urine everywhere, with the man covered in his own excrement, hidden away where few get to see him. See the man getting dinner with feces spread underneath his brownie, or mixed in with his gravy (one needed to hunt for the poop in every meal in the psych unit). Imagine a man being tied down and screaming while guard beat on his feet with billy clubs. Imagine seeing your friend's face all swollen after being handcuffed in a chair and having three canisters of mace emptied into his face and eyes. Imagine a man handcuffed in a chair while a guard takes pliers to his nose, breaking it (he later authored a part of the prison newspaper and his segment was called, "The Nose Knows." Imagine daring to befriend someone with such memories and vice-versa. Imagine being honest in a world where no one believes it. I could go on and on with stories, but they would offend the sensibilities maybe beyond repair. So my gravity holds in the clouds, lightning strikes my earth and thunder roars quietly within. This is why miracles are needed. I am relatively peaceful, thanks to those miracles. The quote about what doesn't kill us makes us stronger is only partly true. What kills us also makes us stronger.

I always wondered why God let me see this part of humanity. I think it was so I could love deeper than the pain.