I have grown to disdain US/THEM 'Just-Us' mindsets. Separation Consciousness is a roadblock to personal and societal healing.
Anyone can change! I stopped 'serving time' when I started to 'make time serve me' (in sobriety). We'll see how many connections I have remaining after people get a snapshot of my part. As the saying goes in We Are All Criminals, I Am More Than My Mugshot!
I don’t miss The Bad Ol’ Daze! Deep breath, here we go into part of my dismal past, but as always, in God’s Economy, nothing is wasted.
God liberates us from our attachments and brings us to the realization of our true nature.
“Why have their prayers come before me because of you?”
At the time of this story, I was still a “dyed in the wool” racialist. I was friends with many Klanspeople, and I supported ‘ The Cause’ vigorously, but without violence. I believed that force was for the weak-minded.
I was an “Israel Identity” Christian. I believed white people were God’s Chosen People. I held that the Holy Bible, world history, and science-supported this proposition. I carried this conviction as solemnly as any adherent might keep his or her religious, historical, or scientific faith.
To add insult to injury, I completely believed that “the prayers of black people could not rise above the top of their heads.” While I did not “hate” anyone, I indeed reserved the emotion of love to encompass only the white race, but the behavior of hatred was not in my field of culpability. I argued with a man in prison who once said, “With a love like that, who needs hatred?” He was a murderer who loved to corrupt people, so I dismissed his argument as manipulative.
The story you’re about to read occurred in-between ‘prison bits’ (‘bit’ is prison lingo for prison time served) in December of 1984. My entire life seemed to revolve around doing time or being in trouble. I was working overnights in a convenience store. It was in the middle of my shift, and I was bored. One of my favorite pastimes was to search the White Pages for black people to call and harass. I would call them and pretend I was black. When they would say, “Who is this?” I would try to engage them in conversations and ask them to guess which “old friend” I was. It typically did not take long before the person realized they were talking to a moron, and ended the call abruptly. Yes, this period of my life was not one of my most noble.
This night, I found the name of a black pastor in the telephone directory, and my ire bristled when I read the name of his wife listed next to his because I was sure she was white. I thought they were guilty of Biblical adultery, in that they were polluting the seed of Israel. I purposed in my heart to confront their sin, so I called them at 3:30 am, all ready to address their evil hypocrisy.
The wife answered the phone. I could tell she was white, so my sense of righteousness was both offended and confirmed. I sarcastically asked her to put “the Pastor” on the phone. She handed him the phone, and he said, “Hello?”
I proceeded to question HIS morals for the next five minutes or so. I did not call him names or use vile language, yet I am sure my tone might have given great pause for concern. I expected that he would respond to my questions with self-righteous anger and dish out verbal abuse to me. To my surprise, the man listened and responded to my every word with gentleness, patience, and took no offense at my barrage of finger-pointing.
This gentle answer took some of the wind out of my anger. By the time I hung up, I had considered the possibility that the Pastor might be a nice person. From the beginning to the end of the phone conversation, he behaved like a true Christian. He did not hate the hater. Today I see I was speaking to a humble, temperate man of God.
After I hung up the phone, I felt no real remorse over what I said to him, and in short order, my mind attended to mundane tasks. I started doing some work in the store (which is what I should have been doing in the first place, and not making annoying phone calls).
About 15-minutes elapsed since talking with the Pastor. While I was organizing candy and other products, suddenly, my spirit mind was opened, and I heard an unmistakably stern voice say, “Why have their prayers come before me because of you!”
I stopped dead in my tracks, stunned, looked up toward the direction of the voice, and said a big, “Oops!” And I meant it. I knew from that moment forward, directly from Source, that God indeed does hear their prayers. I repented and asked God to forgive me. Since then, I have asked God probably hundreds of times to forgive me for verbally hurting that pastor and his wife.
At the time of this story, I believed and witnessed how God profoundly and dearly loved me, albeit I was narrow in my comprehensions of His open arms, “to all that will but accept His name.” God so loves us, that even the likes of me could be loved unconditionally. God loved me so much that even The Son’s surrendered life served to give me a second or a 7 x 70th chance. When I hear, “But for the grace of God, there go I” my heart opens in gratitude.
God meets us exactly where we are at, with no exceptions, as we are trying to say yes to Gods’ will. Sin and virtue is not a contest, and I see no value in saying that “My defects are better than your defects,” na-na-na-na-pooh-pooh. We all make mistakes and fall short of the Glory of God.
I think the test that I was going through became a testimony. God took a negative and made it a positive. All things work together for those that love God (if you love me, follow my commandments). The Lord Jesus Christ commanded that we love one another, and I was trying to do so. But even after this, I remained racist. However, I became a ‘racist with a testimony’ who was willing to witness to my fellow racists that Almighty God indeed hears the prayers of black folks. Bodies heal from the inside-out.
One of the things that kept me stuck was that I observed how so many so-called Christians justified hatred. If one directs hatred against “Haters,” hypocrites pronounce it is OK to hate. I tell you the truth that the human heart does not discriminate between proper or flawed hatred. Hatred in the human spirit, whatever the cause, equally hurts us. It damages the peace and objective of the Gospel of Christ.
Today, I accept as pure truth that God hears the prayers of everybody, even racists. God answered my prayers all of my life, no matter where I was at emotionally or spiritually. Gods’ love never fails. As long as a person is willing to love God and follow Gods’ love wherever it leads us, we will rise above our various human shortcomings. We will never become perfect in this world, but God is still capable of parting our personal Red Sea. Can God part a “Red Sea” we do not know we have? I say yes. Grace.
Do you think any “prayers have ever come before Me because of” you? Or are your prayers coming before Him… for your “them”? Do you have a “them” in your life?
2 Corinthians 13