The question is a classic philosophical quandary meant to inspire thinkers from all walks of life. Did winning push you harder to be your best? Or did losing motivate continued growth to overcome?
Life is both brutal and beautiful. Our beauty is more powerful than our brutality. Forgiveness is more powerful than the offense that required its presence. I was an abused child and yes, I am more than what happened to me. A woman is worth more than the rape infracted against her. I choose to forgive, despite the temperature of my heart. But I needed a miracle for it to happen. I couldn't forgive my Offender without the help of my Higher Power. Most solutions are simple, but not always easy.
I can be as happy as I make up my mind to be, even in the midst of an assault. I've met countless people who are in the midst of the Alcoholic War Zone, but who sing like larks whether the Alcoholic is drinking or not. I know a woman whose son was killed by an alcohol-impaired driver. She hugged the young man in court who killed her son, saying, "I love you and I forgive you for killing my son."
In God's Economy, nothing is wasted.
The wound that offends is the one left behind, Unforgiven. Forgiveness always runs deeper than the wound that preceded and required its presence. Oprah said, "Make your wounds your wisdom."