HERE’S WHAT A FELLOW CODEPENDENT SAID RECENTLY:
“I think it’s BS that the recovering alcoholic/drug addict has to go out to the diner or coffee after a Effin meeting almost every night. I mean ok sometimes but more often then not ... smh 🤦🏼♀️. Go to your meeting get your recovery on and then come home to your family damn! I understand you make connections but don’t think you need to make connections with the opposite sex either!(he says he doesn’t go out one on one with opposit sex) ( trust issues too. He says he never cheated but damn he is so flirt tacious sometimes) he is texting with opposite sex from his home group. Makes me upset. Make connections with the high power! Things I’m dealing with. With a 5 year old and 6 week old at home. 🙄 Thanks for letting me vent!!”
HERE’S MY OPINION:
Detaching with Love is always a challenge, but without it, we may as well disband Al-Anon. Yes, Lois gave a shoe 'wings' and threw it at Bill. But then she started Al-Anon and took her own inventory, worked on herself, then determined what was real and necessary in the marriage. Bill was no saint, and bad behavior is bad behavior. No pedestal allowed, whether ones of praise or ones of distrust. Making out wounds our wisdom takes serious Serenity Prayer work for most of us."
I vent every day, usually to God, but had friends in early recovery that were male and female, straight and gay, republicans and democrat, religionists and Atheists. ALL of these things are known as "outside issues." Men sponsoring men, women sponsoring women. This is a treatment philosophy and has no prescription in Guideline Traditions, though it's somewhat familiar in practice. Gay men sponsoring gay men or lesbian women sponsoring lesbian women is none of anyone's else' business, but no one dares say they shouldn't have opposite sex sponsorship expectations. And what do we prescribe for bi-sexuals? Where will all of this end?
Maybe it is WE who have to trust God and not tell others why THEY should or should not take all of their issues to God.
OK, now I'm done venting for a while. I'm hitting a Friends of Lois meeting tomorrow to get a medallion. My first Al-Anon meeting was May of 91, and I attended for 5 or 6 years. It helped me a lot. Heck, I even married someone who was not an Alcoholic and erroneously believed I was 'fixed' and could slow down and then stopped meetings for a few years. Then I had a huge 'wake up call' and started back in earnest in 2002. Learning to focus on me was a life-vest that someone threw my way. I didn't have to take it. I could have drowned. After divorcing, I did love an Alcoholic who died from drinking.
Al-Anon prepared me for this trial by fire and saved my butt when the worst of it all was happening. Pain is pain, and we don't criticize each other for where we are at, but we do repeat what worked for us. We often refer to The Three C’s. We didn’t Cause it, we can’t Control it, and we can’t Cure it.
Thank God for Al-Anon.