Surrendered Speaking

Knowing is overrated, so no worries. The following is not 'authoritative'. We have no leaders. We are a Fellowship of Equals.  

At some point, seemingly by accident, we have an epiphany, AKA a belief in a return to sanity (which typically followed the advent of honesty or powerlessness). Ironically, we have to first be powerless to get our power back. Maybe serenity is a gift which precedes an intuitive 'knowing'; that's why we ask '...grant me the serenity'? IF we could give ourselves the gift, THEN we could dispense with humility and leave a Higher Power out of the loop (which in most cases was the original problem, thinking power over the problem could be remedied if we just threw an over-inflated sense of responsibility at it).

Before the person in my life drank herself to death, powerlessness to ‘control, cure or cause’ the problem or solution seemed futile. Were it not for turning my life over to God as I understood God, I would have committed suicide. But 'my' life no longer belonged to me, it belonged to God; I couldn’t with good conscience take my life for my life no longer belonged to me…I couldn’t steal it from God.

So, I went to meetings, asked for and obtained AND utilized a Spiritual Adviser (Sponsor) who would listen to me cry at 3 a.m. in public restaurants and never judge me as weak or a burden. I worked the suggested ‘Program’ best as I could.

My Sponsor told me that the person I loved was holding on to the bottle and the bottle was pulling her down into the water to drown her and that if I was holding on to her and if I didn't LET GO, I was going to drown with her. LETTING GO was one of the hardest things I ever did in my entire life. A beautiful soul passed and went to the Light, but I survived to 'carry the message' that the Program works.

Freedom is in the asking, for the asking, and a willingness to LET God (as we perceive God) remove ALL of our defects of character supersedes our actually 'humbly asking' for and receiving the removal of defects that follow. Here’s the Rub: If the defects are still there after asking, then we NEED the defects to learn a lesson about deeper surrender, the obtaining of which is well worth the pain that led to it. The problem has never been the “the other person’s fault”, for if it were, we might never know freedom. But really, since when has an anyone started off by allowing anyone else, even God, to remove our defects?

Even our Lois W. gave wings to her shoe (angrily hurled it at her hubby Bill) before starting her own meeting of recovery, targeting her own side of the issue. Rather than standing in the kitchen listening to others laugh in the other room during their meetings, she started her own meetings and laughed with other women over coffee or tea, whether or not their SO’s were drinking. Laughter is goods medicine and anyone can do it, no matter how bad life appears in the moment. Knowing we are not alone is a beautiful thing.

A wise man once told me, "Laugh to keep from crying" this said while he had tears in his eyes, knowing he literally faced years of turmoil ahead of him. Yeah, he didn't entirely grasp that willingness and ‘happiness is an Inside Job’ yet, but he DID know how to laugh at times, which helped him get to the next moment when he needed it. Due to addiction, he lost his baseball career and was starting a long stretch in prison within a month of being released from his prior prison sentence.

I don’t pretend to know what another human being needs. All I can do is share my own personal experience, my own personal hope, strength and joy all of which I borrowed from my HP (Higher Power) and the people who ‘showed up’ in meetings exactly when I needed to hear and understand that others have or are going through exactly what I was going through. I call this “Convergence & Synchronicity.”

How does one continue to maintain a spiritual life of recovery? Those things we have borrowed we need to return when the time is right, right? If we want to keep our gifts, we have to give them away.

What we give away might not be what the listener receives, and that’s the beauty of it. You might have heard the saying, ‘when the student is ready, the teacher appears’. The Surrendered Me” is in charge of what I say, and the listener is in charge of what they hear.

Surrendered speaking and surrendered listening unify for the Greater Good. The Program IMO is all about Love. I Love You. Pass It On