My Worst UBER Rider

As some of you might know, I am an UBER Driver.  

I drove a minister when I first started UBER (my first day, maybe my third ride). I asked his permission to tell a joke, which dispensation he granted. Mind you; I related a joke that a friend of mine who is a minister said during a church service. I thought I was, "Good to go" in the I AIN'T GONNA OFFEND department.

Well, it seemed he got irate after I delivered the joke and asked if he could tell me a joke. I should have known by the tone of his voice I was in trouble, but my wanting to be friendly, said, "Oh, sure!" He then said, raising his voice with each word of the 'joke,' "Once upon a time there was an UBER driver who didn't mind his own business who got his face smashed in with a truck!" I asked if that was his way of telling me not to tell any more jokes, to which he responded with a classic passive/aggressive ‘Minnesota Nice Voice,' "No."

I ceased all nonessential communication, dropped him at the airport, remain above the negativity the best that I could with one exception:  I started playing Christian Music from my IPOD for his listening pleasure since he certainly hadn’t endured what he purportedly praised as the Exemplar of Christianity.   Like Gandhi said, “I like your Christ, but I don’t like some of your Christians.”  The rider awarded me my only 1-Star rating.  I gave him a 5-Star rating.  Be kind to those who have issues.  Who knows, maybe that was the last day he wore his collar because he got fired for people falling asleep in the pews.  Or worse yet, maybe he was on the way to a funeral for a friend and the joke was bad timing. 

I guess you might want to know what joke offended him so?

A minister died and went to heaven.  While standing in line observing Saint Peter checking in arrivals into their new digs and giving out various mansions with a key, the minister was enthralled.  When he saw a bus driver who was in line directly in front of him get a 5-Star Mansion, he got excited!

Feeling entitled due to performing the Lord’s Work for forty years, he expected a top-of-the-line Mansion, fit for a king!  But, he only got a run-down shack!  He complained to St. Peter, asking why he only got a shanty when the bus driver got a mansion! “Well, sir,” St. Peter said, “while you were preaching, people were nodding off. While he was driving, people were wringing their hands in fervid prayer, asking that they would make it home safely.  You do the math.” 

I always did have a way of pissing off even the most patient of souls.  Frankly, I would have rather driven someone drunk on alcohol than drunk on ego.  Bit it takes ego to know ego, so I didn't argue with him.  As my Sponsor taught me, "Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk."