Grief as Praise

I don't believe this statement about being scared about being forgotten or missed us when we're gone. My ex-wife told me that if I died tomorrow, none of my AA friends would know or care. But would I want my friends to forget me or not?


Yesterday, I was watching The Alaskan Bush People. Ami, the Matriarch of the family, was sick and in physical pain. She flew to California for testing, and doctors found growth in her lungs they suspected was cancer. Ami was crying, and her hubby and family were sad yet trying to comfort her. She was crying and couldn't stop. Ami said she didn't know why she couldn't stop, but her hesitation before and after saying it, her looking at her hubby, and my intuition reflected that she knew exactly why she was crying but didn't want to say why. I think she was crying because she didn't want those who loved her to experience the pain she knew of a certainty they would endure. She was not crying for herself, in other words, but for others.


If I died tomorrow and nobody knew it, perhaps that would be a kind and good thing for those who love me. But on the other hand, I wanted to be at the Memorial Celebration of my Sponsor who passed, but I didn’t know she passed until reading a Facebook comment after the fact. I knew ‘in the Spirit’ she was leaving Earth School, for I had a Vision to this end, which ameliorated my grief.


Grief is Praise!


Grief is evidence of love, for we cannot grieve that which we never loved. We also can’t rob someone of their High Opportunities to grieve in life. So I hope you will laugh and cry, both remember and forget in balance, bringing to mind the good and forgive the mistakes we learned at a price. When we forgive ourselves, there is nothing but sweet loving acceptance in all of its brilliant brushstrokes of experience.