My letting others love me as they are is my loving them as they are. It is the first cousin to loving myself as I am. Even people deeply in love, totally committed, never love equally one day to the next. One day I love more than the next or prior, and then the tables turn and I am loved more or less, day to day. It ain't a contest. Comparisons that don't end in paradox tear people apart. Paradox ends in surrender to the noncontrolling nature. Making the comfortable uncomfortable and vice-versa, yields to being honest, open and willing to embrace the unknown. No one learns from what they already know. Learning is always on the edge of mystery. The purest learning occurs in a vacuum free of preconceptions.